IDEAS & ESSAYS / THE STUCK POINT
Change the question.
See more of yourself.
Writing on the needs beneath our patterns, the work of change, and the life we want that work to serve.
PRECISION & THE MATCH
What if the help never reached the place you were stuck?
You have tried to change. Before making another judgment about your effort, ask what each attempt was trying to change.
Read the essay 02NEEDS & SHAME
The need you feel ashamed of still needs somewhere to go
Wanting connection, security, recognition, choice, or meaning is something to understand and respond to.
Read the essay 03THE SECOND LOOP
Are you meeting the need, or managing the feeling of its absence?
The response which makes a feeling quieter deserves a second question: what does it make possible afterward?
Read the essay 04FULFILLMENT & GIVING
A life beyond the loop needs something to move toward
The work reaches beyond making an uncomfortable feeling smaller. It asks what you want your attention, time, and energy to serve.
Read the essay 05INSIGHT INTO PRACTICE
Why understanding your pattern hasn’t changed it
Knowing why a pattern began does not always change what happens the next time it appears.
Read the essay 06THOUGHT & OVERTHINKING
Why you keep replaying conversations
There is a useful difference between working on a problem and returning to it without learning anything new.
Read the essay 07COPING & CHOICE
Why checking helps for a moment, then pulls you back
A useful question about coping is what the response makes possible after the immediate feeling settles.
Read the essay 08ATTENTION & PERSPECTIVE
A fuller picture, one observation at a time
Widening attention means adding actual information. You do not have to turn an uncomfortable moment into a positive story.
Read the essayLOOKING FOR A FAMILIAR EXPERIENCE?