EXPLORE / OVERTHINKING

When your mind keeps reopening the same conversation.

You have reviewed what you said, what they meant, and what you should have done. Another round promises clarity. The evening keeps disappearing.

Does this feel familiar?

  • Rehearsing a conversation long after it ended.
  • Looking for certainty about what someone thinks.
  • Solving the same question without new information.

What is worth looking at.

Thinking deserves a job. Sometimes it identifies a practical problem. Sometimes it keeps offering the feeling of working on something after useful information has run out. Noticing the difference gives you a place to change your response.

What would one more round give me which I do not already have?

One practice to begin with.

Name the one concrete action available, if there is one. Otherwise, label the repetition once and return to a chosen activity. Let the thought be unfinished while you begin something else.

Afterward, ask what the attempt made possible and what it cost. Your next step should respond to what happened.

Does understanding the cause stop the replay?

Understanding supplies context. Repetition sometimes needs a change in attention, action, support, or circumstances as well.

What if I need to repair something?

Make the repair specific. A useful apology, question, or practical step has a different function from privately replaying the same scene.

Adapted from The Stuck Point, Chapters 6, 16. Sources & approach.

KEEP EXPLORING

More on overthinking.

LETTERS FROM KARINE

Stay with the questions.

Essays on needs, patterns, and the work of building a fuller life. Plus news from the book and learning projects.

To leave a list, email karine@sulf.org.